One shoe at a time.

Have you ever tried to put both of your shoes on at the same time? If you live where sandals are a year-round accessory like I do in Arizona, then maybe you have been successful at this feat! On at least one occasion, I have found myself face-first on the floor however. Laying there in my shame, I found myself asking how the hell did that happen? The answer is simple of course: I’m clumsy, in a hurry, not paying attention, blah, blah, blah. The not so obvious part though is that there were a multitude of steps that led to the eventual stumble and crash.

Operating on auto-pilot is something I often find myself very guilty of. As a recovering addict, it’s also a dangerous way for me to navigate my days. My last drop of alcohol was on April 15, 2016. Thank you. That’s one of my biggest and proudest accomplishments. Let me also say for the record, I am NOT ashamed or embarrassed to call myself an addict. And make NO mistake about it, I am still an addict. You see ladies, I have the AMAZING talent of redirecting my addictive behaviors to anything I put my mind to!! Thank you again. It’s truly a sight to behold. These days I choose to channel that into writing, fitness, and nutrition. I choose addictions that nurture me as opposed to destroy me from the inside out physically, mentally, and emotionally. And just like the story of not taking the time to put my shoes on one at a time, something as simple as that, can land me face down in the gutter if I’m not paying attention.

This is precisely why accountability is paramount in my life. I purposefully have to stick to a routine of eating proper fuel for my body, maintaining daily movement, and practicing mindfulness in some shape/form, or I kick into the auto-pilot mode and stop paying attention. While I’m getting lost in my brain, I lose focus. When that happens, my addiction wins and gets to choose what unhealthy form it wants to take on instead. Mwah-hahaha!!

I have spent years of my life watching and analyzing the cycle. Discipline and accountability keep me sober. Discipline and accountability keep me channeling those addictive behaviors into positives. Motivation not so much, but that’s a thought for another week. The point of all THIS rambling however, is to express that it only takes me one fall, and a lot of steps I wasn’t being attentive to along the way, to end up at rock bottom. It takes me not slowing down enough to put one damn shoe on at a time.

Maybe you can relate to being an addict. Maybe you can’t. One thing I think we all can find we have in common though, is the desire to be the best versions of ourselves today. For me, that doesn’t look the same every day and I’m okay with that. However, I hold myself accountable to do the things that I KNOW help me to be the woman I aspire to be. I challenge you to do the same. Don’t engage auto-pilot. Be present. Get your shit done. You know it’s going to be worth it.

Previous
Previous

Promises start with you.